Suffering and pain can bring about great healing and transformation (Nouwen, 1975). Opposites shed light on each other, and therefore the beauty of healing is not seen as cleary unless it is against the backdrop of painful experience. Nouwen (1975) explains: “The paradox is indeed that new life is born out of the pains of the old” (p. 19).
Painful experiences that are a part of life give humanity a longing for healing, for “often it is the dark forest that makes us speak about the open field” (Nouwen, 1975, p. 19). The counselor is a guide for hurting people to help them come out of painful experiences and find healing. However, to rememdy the pain to quickly can short circuit the process and may cause dependency. The client who comes into counseling in despair gives the counselor the opportunity to promote solitude in the counseling session and to “speak about the fertile tree while witnessing the dying of the seed” (Nouwen, 1975, p. 53). The beauty of true life and transformation is that it comes out of death. It is the complete message of the gospel. Nouwen (1975) speaks of creating emptiness in a client in order for them to truly understand themselves, which drives them toward true living. It would not be wise to state directly to the client that pain must come first in an insensitive manner. Using professionalism and descretion over blunt verbiage would be best, but the message is still the same.
Reference
Nouwen, H.J.M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements of the spiritual life. New York: Doubleday.
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