Sullivan’s Interpersonal Theory holds that tension is one aspect of experience. Tensions are broken down into two types: needs and anxiety. Needs usually result in productive actions because they bring about a positive connection with others, resulting in healthy relationships. On the contrary, anxiety leads to nonproductive and disintegrating behaviors, resulting in unhealthy relationships. The Book of Proverbs has much to say on these two areas.

Proverbs 3:3 reminds us to show tenderness with others: “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” It is interesting to see the connection between this verse and Sullivan’s theory on needs. Sullivan held that needs result in productive actions in our relationships. Love and faithfulness are productive and they can bring about loyalty and responsibility toward others. And love and faithfulness involve actions (not just mere words) on our part when dealing with others. “Good understanding wins favor but the way of the unfaithful is hard,” Proverbs 13:15.

Anxiety and strife can bring about disharmony in our relationships with others. Proverbs 12:25 tells us: “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” Anxiety tears us down and creates barriers between people. Sullivan held that anxiety has a harmful effect in our relationships with others. The Bible is clear that there is no room for strife or anxiety in our lives. “He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction,” Proverbs 17:19.

Anxiety and fear feed off of each other and can distort what your true needs are. We will always have a fear of something, such as spiders. However, if you trust in the Lord with all of your heart, you will conquer that fear and enable you to do just about anything you set your mind to.

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Safe guarding tendencies are cognitive and behavioral strategies that are used to keep away from or relieve oneself from visualized failure.   Adler believed that people created these patterns of behavior to protect their blown up sense of self-esteem against public disgrace ( Feist & Feist, 2006, p. 81).  These defensive devices can take the form of warning signs such as Excuses, Aggression, and Withdrawal.  These warning signs can all be used as excuses for avoiding the everyday jobs of life and shifting responsibility to others. 

Adler states that safe guarding strategies are generally used by people who are self-centered and lack social interest.  They have low self-esteem and protect the little they have with these safe guarding strategies.  They can be conscious or unconscious and work to shield them from outside threats and problems of life.  All human beings are important because we are all God’s creatures and we are created in his image.   Therefore, God does not want us to live with any safe guarding tendencies.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.”

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Adler believed we create patterns of behavior to protect our inflated self-esteem and to maintain a fictional, elevated feeling of self-importance. This puts the focus on us, that we are powerful in our own might and our choices are those that are self-centered, not God-centered. It’s as if God doesn’t even factor into the equation. But the Bible says to put our trust in God in all that we do, not ourselves. Proverbs 3:5-7: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.” We need to acknowledge God and not trust in our own wisdom and strength. God wants us to trust in Him, recognize His wisdom and guidance in all that we do. When we rely on ourselves and build ourselves up, we are creating a false sense of security. The irony is that this often leads to more anxiety!

According to Adler, we develop these safeguarding tendencies as a protection against anxiety. But God says don’t worry. Phillipians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Finally, Adler held that these safeguarding tendencies are largely conscious. I agree with Adler to an extent. Even though we may develop habits which cause us to deal with the world without really thinking about our choices, we still consciously choose whether to serve God in that moment or satan. Adler believed that we choose to react. But God wants us to be proactive not reactive. When we “react” to situations, often times we sin and it results in more anxiety– the very thing we are trying to defend ourselves against. “Prepare your minds for action. . . .” the Bible says in 1 Pet. 1:13. We should respond the way God commands. Also, when we choose, we should choose to be more like Jesus. God has given us a free will to choose between good and evil. Joshua 24:15 says “choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…”

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Adler’s concept of safeguarding tendencies is that symptoms are formed as a protection against anxiety; they are largely conscious and shield a person’s fragile self-esteem from public disgrace. (Feist & Feist, 2006, p. 81) Excuses, aggression, and withdrawal are three common symptoms of these tendencies. Included in these tendencies are excusing away one’s actions, depreciation, which is undervaluing or being jealous of other people’s achievements, accusation and blaming others, self-torture or guilt and withdrawal, which is either moving backward, standing still or hesitating. According to Scripture, none of these safeguarding tendencies are in alignment with God’s will for the life of the believer.

First of all, according to Genesis 1:27, “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him” (Life Application Study Bible, 2000) and none of these safeguarding tendencies are Christ-like qualities. Secondly, every believer is accountable for their actions, and as Romans 14:10 and 12 state respectively, “Why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat” and “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God” (Life Application Study Bible, 2000). So, this Scripture then dispels ungodly actions such as depreciation, excusing away one’s actions and judgment and blame.

The most beautiful Scripture of all and one that covers every safeguarding tendency is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. It states:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

If every believer loved one another according to this, there is no room for safeguarding tendencies toward each other.

Most of all, if everyone held to God’s Perfect Word and His Promises, and pressed toward the goal, there would be no need for anyone to have fear, doubt, depression, withdrawal from the problems of life or be filled with anything that Satan is trying to use to destroy God’s children. “He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him” and “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Life Application Study Bible, 2000), come from Psalm 18:30b and Philippians 3:13b-14, respectively and those are two of God’s Promises on which we can most assuredly stand.

References
Feist, J., & Feist, G. J. (2006). Theories of Personality. New York: McGraw-Hill. 

Life Application Study Bible. (2000). Grand Rapids: Zondervan.

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Blaise Pascal, the famous mathematician and philosopher of the 1600’s is often quoted as saying “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every person which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator.” Most of us hunger for something more than this physical world can give us. We search for meaning and truth to fill the void inside. Some turn to relationships, to their careers, to money, all in a desperate attempt to satisfy the emptiness we sometimes feel. According to John 6:35: “Then Jesus declared, I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.”

According to Eric Fromm’s theory on human needs, people are motivated by five distinctively human needs – relatedness, transcendence, rootedness, a sense of identity, and a frame of orientation. These needs are aimed at moving people toward a reunion with the natural world. Lack of satisfaction of any of these needs is unbearable and results in insanity. He believed that only love produces authentic fulfillment. He also held that only creativeness permits joy. Only a rational philosophy can serve as a basis for the growth of total personality.

The vacuum in our hearts cannot be filled by any physical thing or human being. Rather, our “needs” can only be filled with a true relationship with Jesus Christ. The solution is a relationship with Him, not any other person, place, or thing on this earth. John 6:35-36: “Jesus said to them, “I am the Bread of Life. He who comes to Me will never be hungry. He who puts his trust in Me will never be thirsty. I said to you that you have seen Me and yet you do not put your trust in Me.”

The longing for relationship that is in each of us drives us to do almost anything in order to have a meaningful relationship or purpose in our lives. We might try to find our needs met in another human being by getting married. Some of us might become workaholics, and get too absorbed, sometimes lost, in our careers. Sadly, others will experiment with drugs or alcohol in a misguided attempt to fill those aching needs. God knows what is best for us. Jeremiah 29:11-13: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Don’t be misled. The temporal things of this earth that Fromm says will truly satisfy us and complete our human needs are only temporary. They do not last. Trying to find meaning or purpose in other flawed human beings, imperfect jobs, or addictions only lead to disappointment. Only God and His love are permanent. Romans 8:38-39 reminds us: “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

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