Wisdom: Needs and Anxiety
Webmaster September 11th, 2008
Sullivan’s Interpersonal Theory holds that tension is one aspect of experience. Tensions are broken down into two types: needs and anxiety. Needs usually result in productive actions because they bring about a positive connection with others, resulting in healthy relationships. On the contrary, anxiety leads to nonproductive and disintegrating behaviors, resulting in unhealthy relationships. The Book of Proverbs has much to say on these two areas.
Proverbs 3:3 reminds us to show tenderness with others: “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” It is interesting to see the connection between this verse and Sullivan’s theory on needs. Sullivan held that needs result in productive actions in our relationships. Love and faithfulness are productive and they can bring about loyalty and responsibility toward others. And love and faithfulness involve actions (not just mere words) on our part when dealing with others. “Good understanding wins favor but the way of the unfaithful is hard,” Proverbs 13:15.
Anxiety and strife can bring about disharmony in our relationships with others. Proverbs 12:25 tells us: “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” Anxiety tears us down and creates barriers between people. Sullivan held that anxiety has a harmful effect in our relationships with others. The Bible is clear that there is no room for strife or anxiety in our lives. “He who loves a quarrel loves sin; he who builds a high gate invites destruction,” Proverbs 17:19.
Anxiety and fear feed off of each other and can distort what your true needs are. We will always have a fear of something, such as spiders. However, if you trust in the Lord with all of your heart, you will conquer that fear and enable you to do just about anything you set your mind to.
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- Psychology of Personality
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